| 1812
the war of 1812 started in 1776 when the nazi storm troopers invaded washingtons men then washington went down into his bomb shelter and ate canned food for seven months when he got out he then found out that veitnam had started in present day greenland where volcanoes erupted non-stop the volcanoes would only stop if they killed everyone from the original star trek episodes while all that was happening anna nicole smith ate all the slaves and that is how she abolished slavery ( full story coming soon ) then ordered john wilkes booth to become a buddist and go on a killing spree and then i taught michale jackson how to do the moon walk i learned to do the moon walk from a crippled monkey named jujujabakahn ( he became crippled while building a toothpick factory in the middle of the ocean when all of a sudden a stray bullet fired by none other than james bond hit him in the spine and he fell in the water and he attracked two sharks named bill and jed theese sharks were really mean so they broke what was left of his neck and left him to drown luckily all of his toothpicks started falling into the water and soon he built himself a nice little two story house-boat and sailed to present day illinois where he currently resides withe bill the shark ) and then george washington changed the plural of the animal goose to sheep then i invented electricity then i concocted a potion i was working on to cure polio when i was turned into non other than.........( gasp )..............a christmas tree did you know that the bactreian camel has two humps thats about the time i met my friend gilbetr the 3rd gilbert is a leprachun just then gilbert ate his dog he thought it was a real hot dog then gilbert flew to to Iraq and punched saddam in the ankle and kicked him in the throat and stole all of his wives the bacterian camel has two humps THE END
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never
once upon a time in a land far far far far far far far far away (thats pretty far) there lived a guy who liked to say "never"whenever he said never he said it very veyr fast or very very slowly one fine day he was sent to jail for saying his word that may never be spoken agin there in jail someone punched him in the ankle and made him a deaf mute then he fell over and broke his neck and became paralyzed for all etrnity then they sent him home from jail thats when he bought a helper monkey and he nammed him jujujabakahn one day while helping the man steven segal walked into their house and beat up the paralyzed man and took all his lunch money then on the way out he broke jujujabakahn's neck so then the paralyzed man who liked to say "never" and the newely paralyzed monkey named jujujabakahnlived hapily ever after in the steven segal instiute for people who liked to say never and their paralyzed monkeys foundation. because steven segal set himself on fire (see picture below)
the end
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